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Anthony Buono and Fr. Groeschel about AMS
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| Daniel
& Donna: Hi Anthony |
| Chapter
1: Hi Anthony |
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| Engaged |
Over the last several weeks I have been in contact with several wonderful women through the service. One lady in particular has become special and I have decided that it is time to concentrate on exploring an exclusive relationship with her.
At this point I cannot say specifically what the result will be. We have in common a faith in Jesus and an adherence to the teachings of the Church. Additionally we have a mutual attraction and several common interests. I hope that with the help of the Holy Spirit we can discover in each other the companion we are searching for.
God bless, Dan |
| Chapter
2: Dear Anthony, |
 |
| The cutting of the cake! |
Recently my account expired on AMSCOL. I am not planning to renew it for
the reason that it has served the purpose. I am very happy to report that
I have met the woman of my prayers through your service. When she makes
her second visit in September I am going to ask her to marry me and I
already know the answer will be yes.
It has been a long prayerful wait for me to find a good Catholic lady. Thank you for your support. Her name is Donna Kocis. She signed up in early October of 2000. I was her first contact and it was only a day or so after she signed up!
Like many of the others who have tried this service I believed that it was
my last hope. Maybe it was but it has been a blessing for me. I met so
many wonderful women. Not all of them were a match but one is all it takes
and I have found her!
The best attitude is patience and perseverence. Very little worthwhile is
gotten easily. Many times I thought of giving up but I didn't. I thought
that the distance between us would be a major problem because I have an
aversion to travel. It is a problem, but one day I found myself in the
world's busiest airport leaving on a plane to see a lady several states
away and not having any regrets. If you are serious about finding your
mate you do whatever it takes. You don't turn away when God gives you that
precious gift you have prayed for just because it isn't quite the way you
wanted it.
I will try and keep in touch and let you know "the rest of the story" as
Paul Harvey would say. Thank you and God bless you and your service!
In Christ, Daniel |
| Chapter
3: Dear Anthony, |
|
I just wanted to send you a personal story and some additional good
news. I joined (then) SCOL in June of 1999. I had been a member for well
over a year contacting, or attempting to contact, over thirty women. On
October 5th 2000 a new member appeared in a search that caught my eye.
There was no picture but the responses she wrote for the essay questions
impressed me. In addition her physical description matched my general
desires in a woman so I decided to contact her. I sent her a message
through the service and she replied the following day with a message
like I had rarely seen before. She was open and honest and there was
something about her personality and beliefs that I could not dismiss.
She liked the way I went into some detail in my introductory message and
gave her something to evaluate me on rather than the one or two line
messages she received from other members later on. She said that I
"spoiled her" for the other members. She also enjoyed the rather unusual
advertisement I had written. Some of your members may remember the
advertisement written in the style of a transcript of a standup comedy
routine about my troubles dating women. I did not know what she looked
like for several weeks. By then it didn't matter.
We corresponded every day, made a few phone calls and in May of 2001 she
flew out to visit me. Almost immediately I knew she was the one and she
knew it too. She wasn't like meeting a stranger for the first time but
more like an old friend. In July I visited her and met her family. I
don't like traveling or airports. I never thought I'd be going to O'Hare
and getting on a plane to Pennsylvania but I did it happily. She
returned in September for another visit. By this time we both knew what
we were going to do, but to make it official, on September 8th, under an
old oak tree, I asked her to marry me and she accepted. This event was
important to me and to her because it made our intentions official and
helped to clarify the reality of what we were only thinking about before
that.
She is planning on moving to Illinois in a few months and we have a
confirmed date to marry on June 8th 2002. Just to keep the record clear,
she will be living in her own apartment until we are married. You would
not believe how many people suggest that it would be so much cheaper for
her to move in with me. I always reply that I don't care what the
expense or inconvenience is, we are not going to live together outside
of marriage because it's wrong.
When I contacted Donna I knew that she was not like any of the other
women. I was her first contact so she was not able to compare me with
others until later. It was not immediately apparent that we would get
serious. In fact we tried very hard not to get serious. We both had
reservations about the distance and we both wanted to take things slowly
and deliberately. As a result a close friendship developed well before
we began to think of each other as marriage material. I fostered this
friendship with frequent detailed letters, photos and videotapes of my
home and work. This and the incremental discovery that we had so much in
common and thought alike on many aspects of our lives began to sum up
into a mutual attraction on a deeper level. When her visit confirmed
that there were no surprises I confessed that I had fallen in love and
to my delight she immediately responded in kind.
The main thread running through our relationship is our devotion to the
Blessed Mother, our mutual love for Jesus and a desire to help each
other to get to Heaven. We try to be guardian angels for each other
resisting temptations and offering mutual support. I don't expect a
storybook ending where everyone lives happily ever after. We both
realize that there will be times when things are not so smooth and
tranquil. We do agree that when things are not good it will take an
unreserved commitment to each other and a total dependence on God to
help us.
Developing a relationship was not accidental and it was not by chance.
It was the result of lot of hard work and perseverance. Waiting to meet
someone at church or by chance is a dead end. There are few available
singles going to church today. Once I found the means to meet single
women of similar religious convictions and lifestyle I had no good
excuse not to use it and exhaust every opportunity. It would be easy to
give up after so many rejections and failures and say that God wants me
to be single. I was badly burned by one SCOL member misrepresenting
herself. I adopted the attitude that every contact was an opportunity to
learn and develop an ability to discern who was appropriate and who was
not. Rejection became a means to an end instead of an excuse to give up
in self pity. Even so it was not always easy to accept being turned down
by an interesting attractive lady.
The joining of a man and woman in marriage is indeed a holy thing and a
gift from God. When I would get discouraged I thought about those words.
Even though at times it seemed there was little chance of finding a wife
I knew that if I gave up there would be no chance at all. I want to
personally thank you and your staff for developing this means to carry
out God's plan for singles to find good Catholic spouses. Without it I
would almost certainly have ended up permanently single. I would also
like to thank and place most of the credit with the Blessed Mother and
her Son. Without their help and encouragement I would certainly have
given up.
Like any tool, your service will not do all the work while the members
"hang out their shingle" and wait for someone to walk into their life.
Once that tool is available it's up to the user to pick it up and make
the most of it. It takes commitment, work, perseverance, willing
communication and some degree of risk getting hurt on the part of each
of the members to make it happen. I wrote an awful lot of introductory
messages, got a lot of rejections and a good share of non-replies. I
also corresponded with a number of wonderful Catholic women and learned
a lot from them. All in all it was a good experience. It was an
adventure that is still unfolding and I hope it never ends.
I will keep in touch and send a photo when we have one available.
Yours in Christ, Daniel |
| Chapter
4: Dear Anthony, |
|
You've already heard my fiancé's story of his experience with your
service and now I'd like to tell you a little about my experience.
First of all, I must recognize my former pastor and his pastoral
associate who introduced me to Ave Maria SCOL when they included your
premier magazine in the CCD documents I received at the first catechist
meeting in August of 2000. It took me some time to read through the
magazine and decide what I was going to do. I had seen advertisements
for your service prior to this but I was apprehensive about the
Internet. After reading your magazine, I decided I would give it a try.
On September 29th, I found myself attempting to join the service after a
failed attempt earlier that month. I didn't complete my profile until
October 2nd when I officially became a member. I thought I would give
it a year and see if anything happened. Just three days later, on
October 5th, I received my first message from a very special man by the
name of Dan. His detailed message revealed a lot to me about his
character. He seemed very sincere and offered advice, made a
suggestion, and it was apparent to me that he took the time to read
through my profile to find out the type of person I am. The obvious
problem was that he lived very far away. I preferred to meet someone
local and his message revealed that he had felt the same way but he
admitted that it didn't seem like that was going to happen. I read
through his profile and it was amazing how our views on matters of our
faith were so similar. I was also very impressed at what his goals in
life are and the description of the type of person he was seeking. In
addition, he had this great sense of humor.
The next day I replied to Dan's message. I decided then that I would
keep an open mind about the distance. I really wasn't expecting him to
continue to correspond with me so I was very pleased when I received
another message from him not long after that, this one more detailed.
We were beginning a friendship that would continue to grow over the next
few months. I think it was important to both of us that we become
friends first and we took the time necessary to do just that. We came
to know so much about each other and after a few months it was becoming
increasingly evident to me that I wanted and needed to meet Dan in
person. I knew he didn't like airports or traveling so when he offered
an invitation to me to visit him, it didn't take long for me to decide
what I was going to do.
It had been a few years since I had flown and never by myself but I did
not hesitate when I made my reservation and got on the plane. I had no
trouble spotting Dan when I entered the terminal at the airport in
Illinois. I was finally meeting a very good friend I had known for a
long time. We spent the next few days enjoying ourselves and getting to
know each other better. We attended Mass together and Dan took me to
meet his parents who made me feel so welcome. I also had the
opportunity to meet some of his friends and to become familiar with the
area where he lives. It didn't take long before we both realized we
were in love. It was difficult saying good-bye at the end of my
vacation but we knew this was just the beginning of something very
special for both of us.
Dan came to visit me in Pennsylvania for a few days in July. This man
who disliked traveling and airports got on a plane at O'Hare Airport in
Chicago to come visit me! If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
While here, Dan was able to meet many members of my family and became a
little familiar with the area where I've always lived. After he
returned home it seemed our messages began to mention marriage quite
often and although nothing was official, it was apparent that this was
the direction we were headed. I made a trip back to Illinois in
September for another visit and on September 8th, the feast of the Birth
of the Virgin Mary, Dan asked me to marry him in the same place where he
first told me he loved me. I knew this was coming and there was no
hesitation when I gave him my answer. I know that this will bring big
changes to both of our lives and many sacrifices but I am looking
forward to sharing my life with Dan. Our wedding will be on June 8th,
2002.
Admittedly some years ago I had given up on finding a spouse to share my
life with. Through the intercession of our Blessed Mother, our prayers
have been answered in ways that we never could have hoped for or
imagined. Dan and I both feel very strongly that God brought us
together and we know that He will be a source of strength for us
throughout our marriage. I sincerely believe that God knows what each
of us needs and He answers all of our prayers but not always in the way
that we expect. I feel so blessed to have met Dan at this point in my
life and I am so thankful that he persisted and didn't give up after the
many rejections he experienced. We've both worked very hard at this
relationship to get where we are today. The distance continues to be
difficult but it helps to strengthen the spiritual bond that has formed
between us. I plan to move to Illinois in February to be closer to Dan
and to begin to plan for our future together. As he has already
mentioned in his letter, I will be living in an apartment before the
wedding. Although this means that I will be moving twice in a few
months time, we wouldn't have any other way. Marriage is a sacred union
and we will not be living together before we are joined in this holy
sacrament.
I totally agree with Dan that this has been a very good experience and
it continues to get better. I hope that our story will encourage others
who are still waiting for their prayers to be answered. I will be
forever grateful to God for Dan and for AMSCOL. I've been blessed with
the virtuous Catholic man that I am going to spend the rest of my life
with.
Yours in Christ, Donna Kocis, the future Mrs. Daniel Schoo |
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